20幾歲的女孩該怎樣生活?

Being a woman in your 20s is a glorious thing. You’re at a stage where you can take risks in life and in your career, and the possibilities for both are seemingly endless. But that uncertainty can also cause stress, doubt (cough, quarter-life crisis, cough), and anxiety over whether you’ll ever reach your goals or truly have it all. So for all those times you just want to throw up your hands in frustration, this advice is for you. Read on, and know that it’s all going to be OK.

20多歲對于女性來說是非常美好的年紀。這個階段你在生活和事業上都可以冒險，而且兩者似乎都有著無限可能。但不確定性也可能帶來壓力、懷疑(奔三的危機)以及對你是否能實現目標或者真正擁有一切的焦慮。在那些你感到沮喪，想要舉手投降的時候，看看這些建議。讀下去，你會明白一切都會好的。

On Constant Worrying

關于持續的擔憂

Dufu says one of the greatest pieces of advice she ever received was about her constant worrying. "My mentor said, ’If you would spend less time worrying about choices you don’t have and actually creating those choices, you would be better off.’ You know that dynamic of worrying about moving to a new city when you haven’t even applied to the job? Take that energy and instead apply it to the job application or interview."

杜芙說她得到的最寶貴的建議之一是關于她持續的擔憂。“我的導師說，‘如果你少花點時間擔憂那些沒有的選擇，而去創造出一些選擇，你就會感覺好很多。’你甚至還沒有開始申請新工作就在為搬去一個新城市擔憂嗎?把這個精力花在申請工作或者準備面試上吧。”

On the Quarter-Life Crisis

關于奔三危機

There might be no getting around the dreaded quarter-life crisis, but Dufu says connecting with people who are going through, or have already gone through, the same thing is crucial. "You need someone to tell you you’re not going crazy, people who have already been there, done that — who know it’s going to be OK and can help you achieve clarity through guidance and encouragement."she says.

也許你沒有辦法逃避可怕的奔三危機，但杜芙說和那些正在經歷或者已經經歷過奔三危機的人交流一下，這也很重要。“你需要有人告訴你，你不會瘋掉。那些已經經歷過的人知道，一切都會好的，而且可以幫助你在指引和鼓勵中明確自我。”

On Wanting to Have It All

關于想要擁有一切的欲望

A woman can have it all in the traditional sense, says Dufu, who herself has a marriage, job, two kids, and a healthy lifestyle. But, she says, she sacrifices other things — like attending events — to do so. The question shouldn’t be, "Can you have it all?" but rather, "Can you have what’s important to you?" she says. "The answer is yes if you can prioritize and not try to live by someone else’s expectations. Because every woman has a list of things she feels like she’s supposed to be doing, and some people manage it by creating more time in the day for themselves or by shortening that list to certain core things."

杜芙說，在傳統意義上說，女人可以擁有一切。她自己就擁有婚姻、工作、兩個孩子，還有健康的生活方式。但是她說自己為了擁有這些而犧牲了其他事情，比如出席活動。她說，問題不應該是“你能擁有一切嗎?”，而應該是“你能擁有對你來說重要的東西嗎?”“答案是肯定的，如果你能把事情按優先順序排列，并且不要按他人的期待來生活。因為每個女人都有一個列表，上面是她認為應該做的事，有的人爭取更多時間來做這些事，而有的人則把這個列表縮短，只保留那些核心的事情。”

On Surrounding Yourself With Other Women

關于處理和其他女孩的關系

You may not have said, "You go, girl," since the eighth grade, but Dufu makes a strong case for bringing back the phrase. "We are susceptible to what our peers say, and what they tell us can be the difference between applying for a job or not," she says. "Sometimes you need a woman saying,Girl, you need to go for that,because encouragement and a community of trust is really important. We think we have to do things by ourselves, but the truth is your advancement is a team sport, and you have to have people supporting you."

從八年級開始你應該就不會說“加油吧，姑娘”，但杜芙強烈建議大家重新用上這句話。“我們很容易受同伴話語的影響，她們對我們所說的話可能會影響到你是否去申請一份職位，”杜芙說。“有時候你需要有個女孩告訴你，‘姑娘，你應該去爭取，’因為鼓勵和群體的信任確實非常重要。我們覺得自己必須親自做一些事情，但事實是你的進步是團隊合作的結果，你必須要有一些人支持你。”

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（兼職編輯：楊帆）